“A vodka soda for me. More vodka less soda, please!”
Shall we talk about how my day went? I think we better not. Because my afterwork drink order already describes it pretty well. Something clear, high-proof with hardly any possibility of cloudiness?! Something cold and clear, but not water.
My guilty conscience is literally kicking in by the minute, but for today, my inner bastard wins. I simply don’t have the desire, stamina, motivation and certainly don’t want to crawl around on the mat right now.
Over, done with, finished! The day has finished me off and I just don’t want to.
This now probably gives a free pass for all those who like to look for excuses why something sometimes does not work – especially when it comes to sports (note that we do not refer to yoga as such – we refer to it as mindfulness exercises) and I might also end up getting quoted, but I’m sorry – no actually I’m not (a contradiction in terms, check). Today, for a few seconds, I would like to be the irresponsible yoga teacher who gives herself a time out. So what, I just give it to myself and simply say: “After me the deluge.”
Don’t get me wrong. Yoga is essential for me and my well-being and yoga doesn’t have to be only one yoga because it is so incredibly diverse, but today I only want to deal with myself to a rather limited extent.
Today is one of those days where I can’t wait to have a drink in good company, let myself fall for a moment, and be caught by friends who support me and say: “Tomorrow the world will look different.” Let me briefly say something malicious, sarcastic now. We laugh together and maybe order another round of shots before we possibly decide to go out for a meal before someone falls off their chair. Whereas this is extremely rare, it can occasionally happen – and when it does, it’s good to know that it’s totally ok to swap your yoga session for quality time with friends.
Which is also a nice experience and allows you to learn for yourself. To forgive yourself that you are perfect in your imperfection – you can be approachable and vulnerable and yet strong enough to make a decision for yourself. Whether you end up judging this experience as right or wrong depends on the number of drinks you had and the morning after.
But what I definitely know is how almost every one of these stories ends. Finally I come home and there she lies flat and pretty on the floor and winks at me. A seduction par excellence and I nevertheless quickly crawl on it once more and lie in Child’s pose or with a block under my sacrum to let go a little. It might also happen that I fall asleep, heaven forbid! Because I nearly have a small crisis when my alarm clock goes off punctually on weekdays around 6:15 am.
Yes, in the end, the yoga mat did win, or rather my conscience, which just took me through a short detour back to myself, making me smile inwardly at myself and say “fair enough”.