Sometimes all it takes is a small gesture towards another person to make you seem “unforgettable” and be remembered. A sentence, a smile with our eyes, a hug or even mere attentiveness our counterpart or we ourselves would never have expected. This must be done above all honestly, but also in a way that is appropriate to the moment or situation.
This in turn brings us to the heart of the matter. We forget far too often how essential proper listening is. Empathizing with others even when we don’t share their views, being present and in the moment. One must feel seen, understood and taken notice of without being judged or condemned.
Empathy is the keyword, and it might also be charisma that we radiate – and that can be learned.
It is often said that we attract people who radiate something similar to what we ourselves radiate. In my experience, this is only partially true, as oftentimes someone stepped into my life at a time when I felt as if the very ground had been pulled out from under my feet, with that person extending a helping hand to me without expecting anything in return.
However, I must truthfully admit that I
1. was always ready to be helped and to accept help
2. work on myself almost incessantly.
This actually seems to be a lifelong task – since one never stops learning.
You can adapt your charisma and also protect yourself to such an extent that not just anyone may enter your life. Sometimes you may have to say goodbye to people who no longer fit into your life or do not contribute to your friendship, partnership, connection. This decision is never easy and is often met with little understanding, but in the long term we do not want to waste our time on people when a communication is only one-sided and a true interchange or mutual growth just cannot take place.
Neither time nor place matter, because a true connection transcends time zones and continents.
But which persons have a sexy effect on one and why does one want to stay in touch with them and consider them a part of one’s life?
Neither romantic nor platonic thoughts play a role here, since both a friendship and a romantic love relationship, which should be sexy in the truest sense of the word, can be “sexy”. And yes, sexy, along with another word with exactly four letters, is one of my all-time favorite words because of its versatility – let’s just say it’s an all-rounder.
Of course, we can describe a look or an outfit as sexy, but at the end of the day, only one thing really remains.
What values does a person really stand for, and is it not the values that make one appear sexy?
For myself, I can only answer this with YES.
People with the following qualities are sexy for me:
- Smart reaction to situations and circumstances – the intellect makes one “sexy” too.
- Being empathic and opento what is new and different and non-judgmental. A smile often says more than a thousand words and eases situations.
- Caring – not really a quality but an attitude that should be appreciated. For ourselves in particular, but also for others. I am not talking about unnecessary sacrifices here, but about honest perception without demanding or expecting anything in return.
- Being attentive, probably the most important quality of all. I am in the know about people who are really close to my heart, even if I met them only a short time ago. Because I listened to them carefully when they talked to me, when we exchanged stories. I’ve expressed honest interest and we’ve advised each other carefully. It may sound trivial, but it’s incredibly important and it contributes to confidence building.
All these qualities have one thing in common. They call for time, time that we give to the other person unconditionally and without any restrictions.
This is sexy for me, because this is what remains in the end!
And if we want to name one commodity in our society that represents true luxury, it is always, but particularly in the end, time.